*Festive Music*
Pat: Wee!! *gasp* Woo!!! *the sound of a ping pong ball bouncing in a cup behind the exasperated laughter*
Sam: *is laughing* YES.
*chimes and children celebrating play over the Squishy Pong graphic*
Pat: Hello again, Squishy Pong Fans, I'm Pat!
Sam: And I'm Sam!
Pat: Welcome back to day 2 of Squishy Pong 2020: a mildly chaotic game for a very chaotic year!
Sam: We're feeling extra-stable today, so why not hurl a bunch of bingo balls into plastic cups?
Pat: Why not also put Squishables on sale for 50% off, while we're at it?
Sam: ...NOW YOU'RE GOING A LITTLE TOO FAR.
Pat: I don't care. We're doing it anyway! Here are the dumb rules. There are 27 plastic cups set up on a tiny itty-bitty table for babies. Each with a picture of a super cool Squishable inside. Sam, using all her strength, will toss the ping pong balls into the cups, and whichever cups the balls land in, the corresponding Squishable style will go on sale for fifty percent off for today only!
Sam: I will then reveal, at the very end of this video, a very mysterious coupon code that you can use on Squishable.com!
Pat: I... did not write the rest of this video! So instead, I offer you. this foot!
*a chorus of angels heralds us briefly onto the moon, where the mighty Foot resides in their foot dimension*
Pat: Great! Alright, Sam, let's boot up the VR first-person, hyper realistic pong throwing simulator apparatus! Pew pew pew pew!
*cyber sound effect transition*
Pat: Ready? . Pong. :)
Pat: Alright! Starting off strong. Oop! Oh! That's two-for-two! Let's keep it going.
Sam: It'll never last.
Pat: Wuh! That's three-for-three.
Sam: *bumps into something and laughs*
Pat: Aaah, woops.
Sam: There goes my microphone.
Pat: Oh! FOUR-FOR-FOUR!
Sam: WOW!
Pat: Blammo blammo blammo!
Sam: Yelp!!
Pat: *gasps* Is it going to be a straight shot?
Sam: I'm not sure!
Pat: Ah! No!
Sam: Would have been too easy.
Pat: Too easy.
Sam: Oop?
Pat: Wow! Okay! What have we got here? We have. The 15" Flamingo!
Sam: Ooooo!
Pat: Wow wow! The 15” Sun! Shiny! The Mini... Pancakes! Beautiful and tasty.
Sam: Oh, there they are.
Pat: The 15” Fluffy Bunny! A classic!
Sam: Doo do doooo!
Pat: And finally... Oh! No, not finally.
Sam: Ah!
Pat: There’s a Mini Bee.
Sam: Yes!
Pat: And then, over here, we missed one, there’s the 15” Banana. Wow wow wow!
Sam: Nice. Good. Stuff. Good! Stuff!!
*both shrieking and howling*
Sam: Use the coupon code here below for 50% off those 6 items you just saw on Squishable.com for... 24 hours only! Thank you so much for joining us in this very decorative... very lovely... moment. Of Squishy Pong.
Pat (behind camera): The moment.
Sam: ...What is this.
*both unintelligible*
Pat: This is the last day.
Sam: Squishy Pong 2020! Last day!
Pat: Yep.
Sam: It’s been real!
Pat: Okay bye.
*game show music as Squishables are displayed*
Sam: What is happening?