If you've got eight tabs open on your browser and are chatting on a Bluetooth while typing out a text message with your toes, take a deep breath! Follow the path of the noble Sloth! Put aside your multitasking and develop a connoisseur's appreciation of sloooownnessss!
With three toes, it may take ten minutes to tap out that text, but you will craft every word like you're piping frosting on a royal wedding cake! That dude on the phone? If he really cares he'll wait half an hour for the end of the sentence! That bag of chips? Take eight delicious hours to get to the bottom! That big, soft, fuzzy Sloth? Cuddle and nuzzle for days! There's no rush!
15 squishy inches of all the time in the world! All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!
